Is it Really So Bad?

This morning, I woke refreshed and felt alive again. As I begin my day and contemplate what my meditations should be I hear a little voice whispering in my ear... Is it really so bad? Consider the life of Job. He had it all and then all was destroyed.

The reality is that I still have tremendous blessing. It's easy to lose sight of what God has for you when the disconnection notices are coming, when the cupboards seem empty and you are swallowing your pride to find a way to do what needs to be done.

So I come back to the one thing that always works, the sacrifice of praise. " Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:20-21 (NKJV)

So I will praise Him in this storm, and I will lift my hands in praise.

Grateful for Growth

I have to remind myself not to tell God how big my storm is, but to tell the storm how big my God is. I don't know who coined that phrase, though from the heart of a believer, it puts life back in perspective. I have faced some days that I feel the storm clouds over me in the midst of a drought, but they will not rain. Heavy and humid and hot. Uncomfortable to say the least. I have been challenged to keep myself and my thoughts in check. And as I feel like I am drying up more and more, I am continuing to say YES to God. Knowing that He knows where I am, knowing that He has an amazing plan for me. My solace in stress is now moving into service for Him. As I write this, I am pleased with myself, knowing that I am more easily willing to be obedient. I am reaching out to His work to refresh me in a way nothing else on this earth can do. I know that when I step out in selflessness He knows my heart, He knows that I am turning over control to Him to work in me. It's when we serve others that we are served and refreshed.

In boldness I declare that I will serve the Lord and I will not let the enemy overcome.

"Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you..." (James 4:7-8 NKJV)

Grace is enough

Today I awoke to a house of tired children and the normal worries of life weighing me down. As I began my day I fell into an old bad habit of allowing myself to be annoyed and frustrated with everything. I wanted to blame it on the lack of coffee at that early hour, though I know that the truth lies with my own unwillingness to take control of my attitude. I continued into the beginning of my day and as I often must do I searched in the music to adjust my perspective and my thought process.

On this new road of my professional life, I have found that my life is all up to the choices I choose to make. If I allow myself to continue in my foul mood, then my business will suffer. I must consciously make the choice to be genuine and be positive. I must require myself to see the blessings that I have to be thankful for. That I am blessed beyond what sometimes I am able to comprehend. My provider does not forget me, He stands beside me and waits for me. He talks to me and shows me in the little things what it is He wants me to do.

This morning I heard messages about His grace being enough. That He is sufficient for me. I have lived such a large portion of my life with out an understanding of the Grace that has been provided specifically for me. I am slowly beginning to see both the grace in my past, and the grace in my life now that allows me to adjust my attitude more easily. To release the fear and the stress and the disappointment in all aspects of my life. To understand that the Victory has already been won, that I only have to accept it.

I am grateful for each lesson that I learn everyday. I am grateful that I am not held to be infallible, that I am not required to be constantly in control, that while I am accountable for my choices, I have the choice to do what is right. I have the choice to allow graciousness into my life and into my relationships. His grace is enough for me.

Acceptance of Abundance

I have been stepping out on faith to receive blessing in obedience. Not long ago, I received a word that there is not just blessing in store for myself and my family, but abundant blessing. Not just merely meeting our needs, but exceeding them. To understand, you must realize that when you are blessed you are to bless others. That is when you sow a seed into the life of another, and expect a harvest in the future. There is so much out there that is in store for us all if only we will follow the directions and receive the blessing, even if it is not in the form that we expected it to be in. It's often a challenge to accept a blessing that does not come in the form that we expect it to be in. We often don't realize that it is a blessing or the gift that we hoped for in a different package. It's important that I don't walk past it downcast thinking it is not for me.

I have so many reasons to be grateful and fulfilled. My God is working in the life of my husband, and he is listening. That by itself is a huge gift to me. The boldness to speak it out to me is even another small, yet monumental block that is laid in place to show me the faithfulness that my Father has to fulfill His promises. As the time flys by, and I work to give God something to bless. Each day I remind myself that it is through Christ that I have the strength to accomplish my goals, not myself. The pressure is not on me, the victory is already there, won with a price. I only have to receive it, to accept it, to enjoy it and protect it with the remembrance of why it is mine to begin with.

Sometimes, God takes us down roads that appear to be rarely traveled and overgrown. Twisting and turning and not quite heading in the direction we think we should be going. This is where I am, enjoying the quiet of this solitude, and working to not allow my cautious self dictate, but to allow God to speak to me and to follow His direction. With each turn I can see His hand and a small glimpse of His love and patience with me. And I am grateful, there are many things that God has planned for me in the coming months, He shares just enough with me to show me that the end product will be worth the work and the release of control that I must continue in to get there.

"They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures." (Psalm 36:8 NKJV)

Obediance, Trust and Boldness

For those of you that have honored me by reading my very first blog, you will already know that the life lesson for this season of my life is foremost obedience. Since my last post I have also found that this season is about trust and boldness. Trust to know that I am loved, that my provision is provided, and abundantly so. Boldness to is the next in a line of lessons, that I might open my mouth to declare what God is doing in me.

Over the last few weeks, God is pulling at me, and my heart and my dreams. He is putting me in a position to step out in faith for many different aspects of my life. The enemy knows that He has great plans for me because I feel him trying to settle depression and doubt in my mind. I am happy to say that this blog is a small step to stomp out the enemy in my life. I am with boldness declaring that God has amazing plans for me, of success, and abundance, blessing, adventure and even more growth.

"I will praise You, for You have answered me, and have become my salvation." (Psalm 118:21 NKJV)

I am waiting.

Today I am waiting. I would like to say I am doing so patiently, but that would not be truth. I am struggling. I am aching, knowing what will ease my restlessness. Though somehow, I cannot seem to bring myself into the right place.

I am aching to cry out, to reach out for help. To ask for everything I think I need and deserve. And the answer I get is wait. Continue obedience. Find me in that quiet place, grab hold of me with both hands, so that the wind will not blow you away in the storm. I will remain, I will not falter, I am in control.

Where is the faith that will help me step out of the boat into the waves? Why do I feel like it is unfair that I must step out in faith into a non-tangible storm? Why can I not have the boat and the waves and the storm and be able to look out onto the troubled waters and ask Jesus to call to me? Ironically, I am deathly afraid of water, or rather being on water, of not having solid ground to cling to. And yet the mortal in me longs for a true life fearing situation to step out in faith, rather than to ask God to work in me each and every moment of every day. To put on his armour of protection.

What has become of our world that our storms are not always those of true life threats? Now we are afraid of our credit going bad, not having a nice enough car, or any other number of things. We have allowed these things to be more important than where we will spend eternity after this very short stay on this planet.

As I fight through this agitation, I welcome God to come through me, to fill me with His Spirit and purify me, to grow me, to let me learn one more seemingly minuscule facet of Him.

"Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy." (Habakkuk 3:2 NKJV)

Perspective

Today I search for a topic that catches me. One that will allow my further thought and allow me to contemplate so many things that I would not normally think of. I sit in my chair itching to complete my duty so that I may venture outside. And while we are still pursuing our ideal plan for this wonderful land that we live on, I can see the imagery of what I feel when I step out and fell the wind through my hair and the warmth on my face.

"...I shall not want, He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness..." (Psalm 23:1-3 NKJV)

Can you imagine this? Can you feel the cool grass and the warm sun? Can you hear the brook bubbling on it's way? I can, and I long to be there all the time. So when that opportunity arises, I venture out and walk. I thank God that in the midst of His almighty creation, I can again see my life and all within it in perspective.

Renewal, A Road or A Season?

Renewal...At a moment in time I feel a need for renewal. What kind? Where? When? I long for something in my soul to be refreshed, young, revitalized. I know where to go to find the pathway, though I must step up and possess it.

Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever just want the rain clouds to open up and drop the rain upon your face and cleanse your soul? It is so easy to want to be still and be refreshed and renewed. That isn't how it works. Restoration, renewal, vitality all require a conscious effort on behalf of the party seeking them.

In other seasons of my life I remember experiencing renewal through writing. To purge my heart of the emotions that tormented me through pen and paper.

What is truly renewing is the walk in the fresh sprigs of spring. The light sprinkling of green that has begun to venture forth through the soil that has laid dormant.

I am finding refreshment. May I share it with you? These are mere excerpts that I offer.

"Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." (Psalm 51:10 NKJV)

"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous spirit." (Psalm 51:12 NKJV)

"Wash me thoroughly from my inquity, and cleanse me from my sin." (Psalm 51:2 NKJV)

I realize that there are many of you that are not understanding the correlation between the puzzles of my life and how the instruction I take from the Bible can fit and work. I dare you to step up and look into your heart. Can you cleanse it yourself? Is there anything else of this world that renews you and restores you? I challenge you to pick up a Bible and read it for no other reason than for the story it tells.

Open your heart and your mind to the possibilities.

Wisdom Leads to Sweet Life

Some people believe that if they take the time to learn or seek knowledge that they will lose the excitement in their lives. What most of these people don't realize is the life that opens up in their mind once they begin to release it. All it takes is the right topic and the right information and every thought becomes a river, sweeping them away.

When I met my husband he could not begin to understand why I would work a full time job and juggle night classes around being a single mom. Then he also got to experience the emptiness I felt when I had overdone it and had to drop my classes. The point here being that with learning and knowledge come the fulfillment of wisdom. Fulfillment of wisdom brings things that you would be surprised to hear of. Self confidence, self worth, the reality that there is life beyond the shallow minded masses and prosperity. Incredibly, when the situation seems hopeless to the completely unaware, it is interesting the amount of money that they will pay a wise person or "geek," to resolve the situation that ignorance put them in. This is when wisdom barely begins to show it's value.

While I am now on a path of learning that is outside of most educational institutions, I still look to learn. My country boy husband has to sometimes suppress his frustration when I ask for every detail of setting a fence post or why we till up the garden every week before it's time to plant. There is knowledge around every corner whether we realize it or not. Don't forget to seek it.

"Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future for you, and your hope will not be cut off." (Proverbs 24:14 NIV)

What is Wisdom?

The question comes to me with curiosity. We all take for granted that we understand what wisdom is. It is widely accepted that wisdom is "the quality or state of being wise; scholarly knowledge or learning." That prompts me to ask what does wise really mean? Most would agree on the answer of "having or showing discernment and good judgement" or "having or showing scholarly knowledge or learning." While the dictionary is a great friend to have in deciphering these commonly used words, I have to wonder where the additional instruction is on how to attain them or how their meaning fits into my everyday life.

In my reading this morning I came across an amazingly clear example of why we should seek it and the benefits of an often complex journey. This one passage provides a refreshing light on the importance and benefits of wisdom.

"Happy is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding; For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, and her gain than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, and all the things you may desire cannot compare with her. Length of days is in her right hand. In her left hand riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her, and happy are all who retain her." *

This passage truly creates a visual image of the life that is attainable through wisdom. It also provides the path that is created when you are willing to secure the knowledge that creates wisdom.

Let's recap what you get when you grasp wisdom.

1. Happiness
2. Profits beyond that of silver and gold
3. More precious than rubies
4. Length of days
5. Riches and Honor
6. Pleasantness and Peace
7. Growing life in strength
8. and once again Happiness

There is significance that happiness is mentioned twice. I think it is evident that much of our society is endlessly searching for happiness. Can you imagine what would happen if everyone finally found the right path to happiness?

Are you traveling on a path that leads to wisdom? Or are you continually moving in circles because you are unwilling to accept knowledge, and in turn wisdom in your everyday life? There is more out there than what you see and what you feel, but you must pursue it to attain it.

My hope is that this brings questions to your mind. That you will consider this and do your own searching and questioning. Open your mind to that which on the surface is out of line with the world we live in.



*(Proverbs 4:13-18 NKJV)

Continued Obedience

In the short break of the weekend, I have had only a few moments to contemplate continued obedience. It doesn't ever seem to be difficult when you first begin, the first few times that you follow directions. It's when you have to begin to work and truly take time to decide and commit to being consistent.

Yesterday I realized that obedience may also require more than one step. We as humans like to take the easy way out, to do only what is required to squeak by. Having held a supervisory role in the corporate world and knowing how frustrating it can be to have an employee with amazing potential barely put forth effort, I can't begin to imagine how our Heavenly Father deals with our languor.

Sometimes that step out in obedience is more like steps, many steps. I am amazed that it is possible to walk out in so many directions at once to see where God wants to put us. The first step is simple and even the continued steps in that direction are not quite so difficult. Though the additional steps require that we put aside our fear, step up to the way that God sees us, and use what we know is within us. Even though we have never shared this little part of us, we are fearful of stepping out of the status quo. What will people think? What will they say?

My response is simply "...If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31 NKJV)

I encourage each of you to reach out of your comfort zone and see what unexpected blessings are in store for you. If you need a cheerleader, let me know, I'm really good at it! (Some things never change.)

Work is good for the soul.

I have always enjoyed a day of hard work when the accomplishments are personal. These days my work consists of getting kids on the bus for school, ensuring that the two year old doesn't redecorate the brand new house yet and keeping the laundry from running amuck. Most days I don't stop at the end of the day and consider my accomplishments. Today however, I was able to appreciate the time spent at the sink doing dishes and was lucky enough to assist my husband in our continual quest to fence our new 10 acre property. While most of the true physical work was done by my other half, mine consisted mostly of chasing that outdoor boy across the pasture while still trying to provide the right tool at the right time.

The idea of cooking on a wood burning stove without the benefit of a computer chip to control the temperature does not begin to hold my fancy, I try to imagine what it was like to live in a time when almost all work required being outside for some reason or another. Is that why we have lost so much value in nature and wildlife? That we have been indoors in our self created bubbles so long that we have come to dislike the fresh air and the scents of the countryside? I have better come to accept and appreciate the scent of a skunk (so long as it isn't my dog that is wafting that smell) and the smell of hay that has laid in the field too long when it rains. I expect that one day when my three young children are grown I will have an opportunity to explain to my grandchildren why I love these smells.

To each of you I offer the challenge of getting outside and enjoying the beauty of nature.

Blessings and peace to you all.

Following the road of the word.

Today I am reminded that when it comes to following God's directions it is important to listen only to God and to consider everything else against the word of God. God's only plans for us are "...thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV) If there is need for discipline, it is done with love and with kindness, not humiliating harsh words, thoughts or statements.

I am also reminded that "A friend loves at all times." (Proverbs 17:17) Even when you are wrong, unbearable, mean, and just plain unlovable. We all have our days when we fit into one or more these categories. Friendship in itself is a ministry. God's design is for us to love our friends through all things and sometimes with our sacrifice for their greater good. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13 NKJV)

Though short, today has brought me much contemplation, and for that I am thankful.

Peace be with you.

Continuing down the road...only a block on my way

Have you ever ventured down a road that you have no idea where it leads? I'm on it now. I know this is the road I am supposed to be following though cannot begin to fathom what I will encounter or where it actually leads. I like to imagine that I know where God is leading me, though I know that as any good parent, He is sitting back giggling to Himself knowing I don't have a clue.

This is merely the very beginning, hardly even having started out, looking over my shoulder and still being able to see where it is I began. This is where I must step out in faith and trust the plan and success in my life have already been divinely appointed. Now I am only required to follow the instructions that have been provided to find the prize that is still unknown.

Hmm, how much trust does it show when you try to hold to the inspiration of yesterday and not grab hold of what is being offered today? Today's lesson must be to remember to open my heart and my ears and my mind to hear the answer to the questions I have posed. I cannot help but think of the irritation I feel when asked a question and the petitioner does not remain to obtain the response. A query that is never answered because the requester was never open to the answer.

I know many people who ask God for answers, and refuse to open themselves to hear what He has to say. They claim to pray but do so without believing for the answer, or reject it because it is not what they want to hear. That is a road I have traveled and I can tell you it is a dead end. You will have to complete the five point turn (for those you who have seen me drive you know what this means) to accomplish the 180 degree u-turn required to go back and try again.

So today I will leave you with this. "You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures." James 4:3 NKJV Perhaps you just need to reconsider your motives for asking and He is just waiting for you to understand that He has purpose and wants you to listen to His solution.

The beginning of obedience

To those of you that live a spiritual Christian life you will certainly understand the challenge of becoming and living out obedience. For those of you who might have never heard of this I offer this to you for contemplation.

I believe that we will all agree that writing is a gift. I believe that writing is a gift that God has given me. It has laid dormant for several years from the effects of betrayal and hurt. Thankfully I have found forgiveness and healing that has reopened this gift to me.

In obedience to using this gift that I have been given. Today I begin this blog and pray to effect the Nations in my own way. I am beginning to understand my purpose and my gifts and how they relate to not only my life, but of the lives of those around me.

While I encourage any and all CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, please note that my faith will not be moved. I am truly hoping for those critics that will help me to develop my writing and that their thoughts will be those of developing my gift and not to tear down and destroy.

Blessings and peace be upon you.