Grace is enough

Today I awoke to a house of tired children and the normal worries of life weighing me down. As I began my day I fell into an old bad habit of allowing myself to be annoyed and frustrated with everything. I wanted to blame it on the lack of coffee at that early hour, though I know that the truth lies with my own unwillingness to take control of my attitude. I continued into the beginning of my day and as I often must do I searched in the music to adjust my perspective and my thought process.

On this new road of my professional life, I have found that my life is all up to the choices I choose to make. If I allow myself to continue in my foul mood, then my business will suffer. I must consciously make the choice to be genuine and be positive. I must require myself to see the blessings that I have to be thankful for. That I am blessed beyond what sometimes I am able to comprehend. My provider does not forget me, He stands beside me and waits for me. He talks to me and shows me in the little things what it is He wants me to do.

This morning I heard messages about His grace being enough. That He is sufficient for me. I have lived such a large portion of my life with out an understanding of the Grace that has been provided specifically for me. I am slowly beginning to see both the grace in my past, and the grace in my life now that allows me to adjust my attitude more easily. To release the fear and the stress and the disappointment in all aspects of my life. To understand that the Victory has already been won, that I only have to accept it.

I am grateful for each lesson that I learn everyday. I am grateful that I am not held to be infallible, that I am not required to be constantly in control, that while I am accountable for my choices, I have the choice to do what is right. I have the choice to allow graciousness into my life and into my relationships. His grace is enough for me.

Acceptance of Abundance

I have been stepping out on faith to receive blessing in obedience. Not long ago, I received a word that there is not just blessing in store for myself and my family, but abundant blessing. Not just merely meeting our needs, but exceeding them. To understand, you must realize that when you are blessed you are to bless others. That is when you sow a seed into the life of another, and expect a harvest in the future. There is so much out there that is in store for us all if only we will follow the directions and receive the blessing, even if it is not in the form that we expected it to be in. It's often a challenge to accept a blessing that does not come in the form that we expect it to be in. We often don't realize that it is a blessing or the gift that we hoped for in a different package. It's important that I don't walk past it downcast thinking it is not for me.

I have so many reasons to be grateful and fulfilled. My God is working in the life of my husband, and he is listening. That by itself is a huge gift to me. The boldness to speak it out to me is even another small, yet monumental block that is laid in place to show me the faithfulness that my Father has to fulfill His promises. As the time flys by, and I work to give God something to bless. Each day I remind myself that it is through Christ that I have the strength to accomplish my goals, not myself. The pressure is not on me, the victory is already there, won with a price. I only have to receive it, to accept it, to enjoy it and protect it with the remembrance of why it is mine to begin with.

Sometimes, God takes us down roads that appear to be rarely traveled and overgrown. Twisting and turning and not quite heading in the direction we think we should be going. This is where I am, enjoying the quiet of this solitude, and working to not allow my cautious self dictate, but to allow God to speak to me and to follow His direction. With each turn I can see His hand and a small glimpse of His love and patience with me. And I am grateful, there are many things that God has planned for me in the coming months, He shares just enough with me to show me that the end product will be worth the work and the release of control that I must continue in to get there.

"They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures." (Psalm 36:8 NKJV)

Obediance, Trust and Boldness

For those of you that have honored me by reading my very first blog, you will already know that the life lesson for this season of my life is foremost obedience. Since my last post I have also found that this season is about trust and boldness. Trust to know that I am loved, that my provision is provided, and abundantly so. Boldness to is the next in a line of lessons, that I might open my mouth to declare what God is doing in me.

Over the last few weeks, God is pulling at me, and my heart and my dreams. He is putting me in a position to step out in faith for many different aspects of my life. The enemy knows that He has great plans for me because I feel him trying to settle depression and doubt in my mind. I am happy to say that this blog is a small step to stomp out the enemy in my life. I am with boldness declaring that God has amazing plans for me, of success, and abundance, blessing, adventure and even more growth.

"I will praise You, for You have answered me, and have become my salvation." (Psalm 118:21 NKJV)

I am waiting.

Today I am waiting. I would like to say I am doing so patiently, but that would not be truth. I am struggling. I am aching, knowing what will ease my restlessness. Though somehow, I cannot seem to bring myself into the right place.

I am aching to cry out, to reach out for help. To ask for everything I think I need and deserve. And the answer I get is wait. Continue obedience. Find me in that quiet place, grab hold of me with both hands, so that the wind will not blow you away in the storm. I will remain, I will not falter, I am in control.

Where is the faith that will help me step out of the boat into the waves? Why do I feel like it is unfair that I must step out in faith into a non-tangible storm? Why can I not have the boat and the waves and the storm and be able to look out onto the troubled waters and ask Jesus to call to me? Ironically, I am deathly afraid of water, or rather being on water, of not having solid ground to cling to. And yet the mortal in me longs for a true life fearing situation to step out in faith, rather than to ask God to work in me each and every moment of every day. To put on his armour of protection.

What has become of our world that our storms are not always those of true life threats? Now we are afraid of our credit going bad, not having a nice enough car, or any other number of things. We have allowed these things to be more important than where we will spend eternity after this very short stay on this planet.

As I fight through this agitation, I welcome God to come through me, to fill me with His Spirit and purify me, to grow me, to let me learn one more seemingly minuscule facet of Him.

"Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy." (Habakkuk 3:2 NKJV)

Perspective

Today I search for a topic that catches me. One that will allow my further thought and allow me to contemplate so many things that I would not normally think of. I sit in my chair itching to complete my duty so that I may venture outside. And while we are still pursuing our ideal plan for this wonderful land that we live on, I can see the imagery of what I feel when I step out and fell the wind through my hair and the warmth on my face.

"...I shall not want, He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness..." (Psalm 23:1-3 NKJV)

Can you imagine this? Can you feel the cool grass and the warm sun? Can you hear the brook bubbling on it's way? I can, and I long to be there all the time. So when that opportunity arises, I venture out and walk. I thank God that in the midst of His almighty creation, I can again see my life and all within it in perspective.

Renewal, A Road or A Season?

Renewal...At a moment in time I feel a need for renewal. What kind? Where? When? I long for something in my soul to be refreshed, young, revitalized. I know where to go to find the pathway, though I must step up and possess it.

Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever just want the rain clouds to open up and drop the rain upon your face and cleanse your soul? It is so easy to want to be still and be refreshed and renewed. That isn't how it works. Restoration, renewal, vitality all require a conscious effort on behalf of the party seeking them.

In other seasons of my life I remember experiencing renewal through writing. To purge my heart of the emotions that tormented me through pen and paper.

What is truly renewing is the walk in the fresh sprigs of spring. The light sprinkling of green that has begun to venture forth through the soil that has laid dormant.

I am finding refreshment. May I share it with you? These are mere excerpts that I offer.

"Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." (Psalm 51:10 NKJV)

"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous spirit." (Psalm 51:12 NKJV)

"Wash me thoroughly from my inquity, and cleanse me from my sin." (Psalm 51:2 NKJV)

I realize that there are many of you that are not understanding the correlation between the puzzles of my life and how the instruction I take from the Bible can fit and work. I dare you to step up and look into your heart. Can you cleanse it yourself? Is there anything else of this world that renews you and restores you? I challenge you to pick up a Bible and read it for no other reason than for the story it tells.

Open your heart and your mind to the possibilities.

Wisdom Leads to Sweet Life

Some people believe that if they take the time to learn or seek knowledge that they will lose the excitement in their lives. What most of these people don't realize is the life that opens up in their mind once they begin to release it. All it takes is the right topic and the right information and every thought becomes a river, sweeping them away.

When I met my husband he could not begin to understand why I would work a full time job and juggle night classes around being a single mom. Then he also got to experience the emptiness I felt when I had overdone it and had to drop my classes. The point here being that with learning and knowledge come the fulfillment of wisdom. Fulfillment of wisdom brings things that you would be surprised to hear of. Self confidence, self worth, the reality that there is life beyond the shallow minded masses and prosperity. Incredibly, when the situation seems hopeless to the completely unaware, it is interesting the amount of money that they will pay a wise person or "geek," to resolve the situation that ignorance put them in. This is when wisdom barely begins to show it's value.

While I am now on a path of learning that is outside of most educational institutions, I still look to learn. My country boy husband has to sometimes suppress his frustration when I ask for every detail of setting a fence post or why we till up the garden every week before it's time to plant. There is knowledge around every corner whether we realize it or not. Don't forget to seek it.

"Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future for you, and your hope will not be cut off." (Proverbs 24:14 NIV)